Burning calories with sex!

Taken from here

Question:
> Does anyone have any information on how many calories are burned by various
> sexual activities?  This may be the best physical exercise to lose weight!

Answer:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACTIVITY           CALORIES BURNED      ACTIVITY             CALORIES BURNED
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REMOVING CLOTHES:                       ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
With partner's consent..........12      Shoes flew off....................35
Without partner's consent......187      Expression didn't change...........1/2
                                        Orchestra swelled..................6
UNHOOKING BRA:                           Birds sang
Using two calm hands.............7       Large birds.......................7
Using one trembling hand........36       Small birds.......................3
                                        Earth moved.......................30
GETTING INTO BED:
Lifting partner.................15     PULLING OUT:
Dragging partner along floor....16      After orgasm.......................1/2
Using skateboard.................3      A few moments before orgasm......500

ACHIEVING ERECTIONS:                    PENIS ENVY:
For normal healthy man...........2.5    For woman..........................3
Losing erection.................14      For men...........................72
Searching for it...............115
                                       GUILT:
PUTTING ON CONDOM:                       Despite no formal training, orgasm
With erection....................1.5     comes easily, naturally..........53
Without erection...............300      You're enjoying sex, despite the
                                         fact that other people are
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM:                      starving..........................2
If the woman who does it is             Sex on your lunch hour.............3
 Experienced.....................6      Putting it on expense account.....20
 Inexperienced..................73
If a man does it...............680     AGGRAVATION:
Add (5) calories for retreiving it      Partner keeps showing plants.......5
from across the room.                   Partner insists on cuddling the dog
                                         during foreplay..................14
POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY:      Partner just visited bathroom for
Italian- Man on top, woman in            7th time.........................10
 kitchen........................26      Partner is taking phone calls......7
Russian- Woman on bottom,               Partner is making phone calls.....40
 man getting permission.........55
American- Both on top...........60     GETTING CAUGHT:
                                        By partner's spouse...............60
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE:    By your spouse...................100
Bouncing.........................7      Trying to explain.................55
Sliding around...................9      Trying to remain calm............100
Serious skidding................12      Leaping out of bed................75
Whiplash........................27      Getting dressed in one motion....500
                                        Thanking partner quickly...........2
ORGASM:
Real............................27
Faked..........................160

Shake your bon bon shake your bon bon!

o/~ Shake your bon bon shake your bon bon!

Its times like this im glad im looseing weight